“The crowd makes the

ballgame,”

— Ty Cobb

You may have heard, there’s a ball game Sunday. It is one of the most famous sporting events in the world, right up there with that Olympic thing where they push an object across ice with two guys sweeping in front of it with strangely shaped brooms and the catapulting of fruitcakes after Christmas. It is the Superbowl.

And, as only Americans can do, it has, over the years, been turned from a sporting event to a major media circus. Major celebrities sing the national anthem, rock stars perform during half time, t-shirts, ball caps, key rings and souvenir giant foam hands are printed, rooms are booked months in advance. The Food Network airs a multitude of tail-gate inspired shows, with Paula Deen and Bobby Flay sharing their game day recipes, you get the picture.

Its a ‘thing’.

One of the major themes of Super Sunday (yes, it has its own day) is the advertising, particularly the commercials aired during the game. Since the time during the game is traditionally some of the most expensive air time on TV, ads created for the Superbowl are usually very heavily anticipated, advertising agencies put their most creative minds to work to create ads worthy of the gazillions of dollars their clients will spend on those 30 and 60 second spots.

Enter the Jerry Springer age of television, aka its only good TV if people are arguing.

Tim Tebow, a celebrated football player, is starring in an ad which tells the story of his mother’s struggle to carry him to term against doctor’s orders during a difficult pregnancy. CBS, the network airing the Superbowl, has agreed to run the spot, which is being called a pro-life commercial. It is being paid for by the pro-life group Focus on the Family. Needless to say, this has caused a maelstrom of controversy.

Pro-lifers vs. Pro-choicers. Free speech vs. appropriateness of the ad. Sports vs. politics. Tastes great vs. less filling (no, wait, that’s different commercial).

Of course, the initial reaction of any red blooded American is “Hey, its a free country, the First Amendment guarantees him the right to say anything he wants! Focus on the Family is paying, its their dime, let them say whatever they please! Harumph!”

But alas, as is usually the case, the whole thing is not quite as cut and dried as that. It seems that other groups, who were not selling a product necessarily so much as an idea, an opinion, an ideology, if you will, have wanted to buy time during the Superbowl. It seems CBS hasn’t always been the champions of free speech they are now. For whatever reason, the network decided they could not air their commercials, it seems before they felt these types of spots would offend different segments of the TV audience.

In years past, CBS has rejected advocacy ads, including a 2004 spot by the liberal advocacy group MoveOn.org that criticized then-President George W. Bush. That same year, it turned down an ad by the United Church of Christ portraying the denomination’s welcoming stance toward gays and others whose lifestyles might put them at odds with more fundamentalist congregations.

All three of these groups seem to have perfectly good motives. They all honestly feel they are doing the right thing, with malice toward none (well, maybe a little from MoveOn.org). They seem to want to spread their message, give some information, present a viewpoint they feel may deserve consideration.

So, what gives? Why did the Focus on the Family piece pass muster while the church group and the political did not? Were they willing to pay more? No, prices on premium advertising time is suffering the same as the housing market in the current economy, prices are down. Were the other commercials rude, crude or disrespectful? If so, it has not been mentioned in the barrage of information about the controversy to be found on TV and the internet. Did Rip Torn get drunk and destroy the MoveOn.org’s ad? Were the people from Jersey shore going to do the church ad but found out what it was and quit? No?

The only other explanation is the obvious: that criticism of our ex-president and words of welcome from a church are both subversive, Bolshevik, Communist propaganda! A church that accepts everyone? Puh-lease! And criticizing the president? Our founding fathers would, well, they would, and did, advocate that kind of thing, but then they wore wigs as well.

Who decides what is appropriate fodder for Superbowl Sunday? The Superbowl is a celebration of what America is — its athlete worship, advertising, consumerism, gluttony, alcohol abuse and gambling with a sprinkle of pointless competitive resentment thrown in, just for kicks. Why not add a little political and social controversy, because if there is a time and a place for everything, then this game is it: the time AND the place for everything, all the time.

Or, if we want to get really really strange and neo-con, if we really want people to completely freak out, here’s a radical idea – lets treat the Superbowl like its, uh, well, a football game!

Gasp! Spit-take, double harrumph!

What’s that you say? Do you mean just pay attention to the ball game, you might ask, for goodness sake? That cannot come to pass!

What in the world would we do for a half-time event? We would be reduced to something lame like a marching band for a half-time show. That can’t be, not for a ball game! And what about the pre-game, half-game, post-game and red carpet reports about surrounding the game? Surely a football game cannot be properly and thoroughly discussed in an hour or two, it obviously takes weeks upon weeks of analysis. The economy is in the toilet, people are losing their homes, they have no jobs, nothing they own is worth what they are paying for it. These people obviously need to spend some of that economy — flinging cash for the giant foam rubber fingers, the gallon size bowls of chili and guacamole, it will do the country good!

Let’s face it, the Superbowl has “got above its raisin’” as a hillbilly parent would say. It is, after all, a ball game. Why let it be a platform for anything more grandiose than that? Let the companies who sell stuff to people who watch the game, i.e. beer, sneakers, Fritos, video games and those insulating sleeves that keep your drink cold, buy the commercial time during the game.

Keep abortion rights, presidential critiques and Avatar’s social message out of it. It’s a ballgame, give it its priority, rate its importance on the big scale of things, and move on.

Playing baseball shouldn’t be that important.