Dear Dr. Brothers: I am a single gal in my 30s. I’ve had my ups and downs in life, just like everyone, but I always have tried to look on the bright side of things. There is nothing gained by moping around and being a sad sack, in my opinion. Anyway, a number of people I see frequently are just the opposite. They are always sad, depressed or complaining. I find that I have no patience with these folks, even though I consider them friends. How can I be more kind? -- N.M.

Dear N.M.: I believe you are a good person who simply is unable to understand the point of view of others who don’t have the coping skills you have developed. It seems that since we all have had trials and tribulations, we all should be more or less emotionally healthy, based on how much trouble we’ve seen in our lives. But that’s not how it works. Apparently, it’s our individual ability to cope -- to make lemonade out of lemons, as it were -- that makes some of us perennial pessimists and others the type who unfailingly see the glass as half-full.

So sometimes those who have had what you might consider very few problems might be the worst offenders when it comes to whining and complaining. Because they have nothing to worry about (compared with you), you are able to dismiss their problems as trivial, and you view them with a lack of respect for their character. Since you are a strong person, and it does bother you that your friends are lacking the ability to be optimistic, you might need to go out of your way to be nice to them and do some things that you know will make them happy -- if only for a few moments. They needn’t be big things. Sometimes people just need some encouragement and some good experiences to build upon to turn around their unhappy frowns. If your efforts don’t help, they may need professional therapy. You might be happier with some happier friends.

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Dear Dr. Brothers: I have lived in a lovely subdivision for about seven years. We used to have great block parties, and everyone was friendly. That all changed with last year’s presidential election, and now it is going downhill even more. People I considered friends -- or at least good neighbors -- started posting really ugly signs on their lawns or putting hateful bumper stickers on their cars. Those of us who don’t join in are feeling like outcasts. What can I do? -- S.W.

Dear S.W.: It is a real shame that politics has reared its ugly head to destroy your neighborhood unity. They used to say that you shouldn’t discuss politics, sex or religion -- and indeed, neighbors don’t need to delve into these kinds of topics when they are focused on keeping kids occupied safely or sharing tips on lawn fertilizer. Political signs going up and bumper stickers appearing can really throw down a divisive gauntlet. So this kind of intrusion into neighborhood life is indeed fraught with peril.

If you don’t want to start instituting bans on signage -- which wouldn’t extend to cars and trucks, anyway -- you could always organize the people who are feeling ostracized. No, I don’t mean put up your own signs -- that doesn’t seem like a way to accomplish anything except drawing battle lines -- but perhaps you could start a political-book-discussion group for the neighborhood, run by your like-minded neighbors but open to all. Or sponsor a historical tour or environmental effort for the town in which people from the subdivision could participate without reference to their political party. So the choice is yours -- to separate yourself out, or to reform the interest groups so that politics don’t matter. Either way, you’ll probably have to say goodbye to the good old days of the neighborhood. Time to work on the future.