I’ve heard it said one can sum a person up by learning the person’s taste in music, the car they drive, what they say when under the influence. Another big indicator, so I’ve been told, is how they spend their money — on fast cars or a big house or gifts for friends and family.
The way a parent’s children speak about them would seem to reflect something about the parent, as how a person treats their parents might indicate a lot about a person. A credit score gives insight into a man or a woman, as shallow as that seems. Sometimes a person’s outward appearance tells the world about their inward selves – sloppy, old fashioned, funky, way too young or old.
Myself, I think the way a person talks can speak volumes, even if they are a man, or a woman, of few words.
Do they talk a lot, and if so, is it full of “I, me mine”? I think person who mumbles or speaks in a way that is barely audible, like Seinfeld’s low talker, either doesn’t really believe you want to hear them or maybe doesn’t care if you do.
An accent is, obviously, a clue to the speaker, whether it is because English was not their first language or because they are from the North or the South or the Mid-West. Or Appalachia.
My mother always taught her children to use proper grammar, to speak correctly. “Enunciate, please,” she would say before repeating back to us what we had said, as in “Gimme that thang,” so we had to say “Give me that thing, please.” So we tried, and still try, to speak the language to the best of our ability.
The words and phrases someone uses are also a good way to help figure a person out. Someone recently told me I freak out over word choices. Well, of course I do. I choose words for hours each day. If one doesn’t choose the words they use to get their thoughts across carefully, doesn’t that say something? A reliance on swearing gives a person one impression of the speaker, accidentally letting a “cuss word” out occasionally gives a different impression; never cursing says something altogether different. Using ‘buzz words’ can say a lot, depending on whether they are current (sweet!) or not (groovy). Prefacing every sentence or phrase with “like” or, “you know” tends to sound like a teenager, or like someone who wishes they were a teenager.
Of course, it goes without saying using disrespectful or derogatory terms to refer to certain groups of people says a whole, whole lot, such as “I am not very secure,” as well as “I am not very bright,” and “You don’t really want to get to know me”.
How we refer to a person or event says so much. “Marrying the man of my dreams” evokes quite a different scenario than “putting on the old ball and chain.” Would a woman prefer to be called “my better half” “the ole lady”?
Some people are verbally lazy, they think describing a situation or relating an event simply calls for too many words, requires too much effort. Its not that they don’t want you to know what happened at work or how they met their fiancé, its just a too long and involved story. So they use terms such as “you know” and “blah blah blah” and the ever popular “yada yada”. To me, that signifies they aren’t particularly interested in whether you are interested. Interesting.
My point (and yes there is one) is people should realize that sometimes what you say becomes secondary to how you say it. If people assume, from listening to you speak, that you are not very bright or well informed or have anything to say, they will not listen to you. The attention span of the American public is being measured in seconds these days, which, for better or worse, is long enough to make a judgment based on how a person speaks.
You may have the most profound thought, the insightful observation, the wittiest comment, but it won’t matter. If you preface it with “Yo, its like this dude,” you will probably lose your audience.
Whether we realize it or not, we do judge people by how they speak, as much as by what they do for a living or how they dress. Speak to be heard. Vernacular is indicative.
It matters if you tawk purty.
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