The Flood of 2009 will be remember for many things: the flood that came in the middle of the night, the flood that got places which had never been under water, the flood that hit the internet faster than the water receded.

But I will always call it “The Flood in Which People Did It Wrong.”

I am a veteran high water/flood watcher. I spent my childhood in Black Gem, a community in Goody, Ky., that got flooded regularly. It was quite the spring ritual. The rains would come, and we would grab our umbrellas and walk to the one lane wooden bridge to see how high the water was getting. It often got as high as the bridge, and sometimes into the lower ground where some families had their gardens. On those occasions, we would wait it out, and often as not the water receded without serious damage.

Of course there are the famous floods of ‘66 and ‘84, and the granddaddy, the famous, the flood to end all floods, 1977. I lived through the ‘77 Flood, and have my ‘the water was so high . . .” story to tell. “My house was so damaged,” “it raised so fast,” - you know the drill. And yes, there was a certain excitement during those high water periods. Of course, the fact that I was a kid, I am sure, changed my perspective on the experience. As a matter of fact, on April 3, 1977, I remember my cousin’s husband grinning as we passed on the rain-sodden road, asking each other if the Tug had crested yet. “Ain’t disasters exciting?” he said, grinning. And yes, it was, at least to my 13-year-old mind. I am sure my parents felt differently.

But, my point is that there was a certain protocol, which, though unofficial, we as flood victims/disaster participants always followed. Things you did and did not do during a flood.

But, at the risk of sounding like the old bag that I am, kids these days (and some adults) did not follow proper flood procedure. The Flood of ‘09 was a different kind of flood, a flood for the new millennium I suppose, and maybe things have changed. If so, I did not receive the memo. So, until I receive official notice that the process has changed, I will flood old school.

I have compiled a list of violations of proper flooding protocol. Please laminate it and keep it in a dry location next to the first aid kit and the number to poison control. I will forward this list to all 911 centers ASAP.

1. You cannot flood in flip-flops. The only exception to this rule is if you were: a. rescued from your house by boat and b. asleep before said rescue. No flip-flops for the pre-flood creek/river patrols, no flip-flops for the actual flood period, no flip-flops for the checking-out-the-damage receding period.

2. Do not walk/drive into flood waters. You would think this would not need to be spoken or written, but, alas, it must. I have witnessed both these phenomenon, and, not to put too fine a point on it, but “Have you lost your mind?” Flood waters are notoriously fast moving, and by their very nature wash away the ground. What may have been a road way or your front yard an hour ago could be a 10-foot deep river. Have these people never seen the news footage of people being rescued from the roofs of their cars? Or, maybe its Darwin in action, and should be left to their fate.

3. You do not steal from homes which are being flooded, or whose owners cannot protect their belongings due to flooding. Of course, theft is generally frowned upon by society and law enforcement under any circumstances (unless you are an AIG exec), but doing so during a flood is, until 2009, virtually unheard of. A friend, who I will not name, (but whose voice apparently would melt butter) had his weed whacker taken during this flood. I am sure he is not the only such victim. Don’t take advantage of Mother Nature’s darker side in such a manner. Karma will get you.

4. Looting is not done. Period. Hasn’t someone who has been flooded been through enough? A business near my home was entered before the owners could get there. It wasn’t breaking and entering, as the breaking had already been done by Pond Creek. But, on Saturday, someone had already been inside their car repair shop, even into the bathroom, seeking what they could find. The culprits were even looking for tires. If they had stopped and looked there were approximately 2,256,457 tires laying everywhere the water had been.

5. Keep members of your community abreast of the flood situation. My husband and I were wakened at 4 a.m. to find our car and truck underwater. A call or shout or rock upside the window at, say, 3 a.m. would have saved my vehicles. I realize it is not my neighbor’s responsibility to save Vanessa, my soccer-mom minivan, or Lil’ Joe, my husband’s old faithful work truck, but there are many cars and other property could have been saved if people would have known the water was coming. A middle-of-the-night flood needs a town crier, or maybe a creek crier.

6. While a natural disaster is always a spectacle (or why else would we have disaster movies such as Twister, Armageddon or Australia?), have the common decency not to enjoy the show while people are still enduring the flood itself. Yee-hawing through the flood water while people are trying to salvage their homes is in bad taste.

7. While it is acceptable to forage through debris for items that may still be salvageable, do not pilfer through piles of junk while floodees are still adding to them. I understand the mindset, they’re just gonna throw it away anyhow, but wait until people have finished the initial cleanup and have decided, finally and for sure, that said items are indeed garbage. If you are in such dire circumstances that your survival depends on muddy, stinking, germy cast-offs, sell the truck you are using to haul the trash and buy food.

Of course, a lot of things were done perfectly. People have fed, clothed and housed their neighbors. Water has arrived, to our very doorstep. The Red Cross and the National Guard arrived with the organization needed to coordinate relief. Members of the Mingo County Commission and the Pike County Fiscal Court were in the community before the water went down to see how best to help. Area businesses have donated supplies, food, water, labor and man hours to help with clean up. Churches have cooked non-stop, delivering food to areas isolated by washed out roads. People are cooking, cleaning, donating and comforting. These are the times that make us glad we live where we do.

So, keep up the good work. Be good to each other.

And, remember, its suppose to start raining today.